Memoria
by wolf of infinity
Summary: “It’s ok… it’s going to be ok…” and the tears that had momentarily stopped, due to his violent rage, were released again, trickling down his pale cheeks as he petted the soft fur, ever so gently... A take on how Deidara's past might have been. One-shot.


_Yo. This is just a small fic I wrote some time ago. __It's sort of my take on Deidara's past, if you don't fics that doesn't stick to the main plot of the series, then just don't read *shrug*. Anyways, it's not necessarily romance, but could be seen as light SasorixDeidara, if you want to look at it as such. ^^ Anyways… Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters.  
_

oOoOo

The moon was nearly full, bathing the landscape in a lazy light. The forest, which stretched up at the edge of the fields outside the village, smelled of the rain fall that had hung upon them for the last few days. At the other side of the village, stony, barren mountains stretched up towards the almost violet sky, like a massive wall protecting the village from harm.

Quick breathing could be heard as a small figure hurried across the field. The tall grass reached his thighs, and some places even his narrow waist, as he ran. The boy was young, with golden locks of silky hair flowing behind him and a bright smile on his pale but beautiful face.

His hands were slightly dirty, just like his clothes and face, from being outside for as long as he had. Still, cradled carefully in his arms, as gently as he possibly could, was a small puppy, looking ragged and helpless. The puppy didn't seem to mind the slight tremble as the boy ran, sometimes tripping over hidden roots or rocks, resting it's head on his chest, as though the warmth of his body was soothing.

The boy reached the village boarder, crossing it without earning as much as a glance from the shinobi guards that always kept watch there, from intruders. He never could imagine why any enemy would want to break in and wreck havoc, though. It was a fairly peaceful village.

It was a bit too late, he was aware of that, but his excitement over rescuing the dog overpowered the fear of what his father might say or do. The poor creature had been left to fend for itself, fastened to a tree with a shaggy leash, deep within the forest. He couldn't leave it.

"Don't worry, we're almost home," he murmured to his new friend, his bright blue eyes shining with compassion for the homeless creature.

Reaching the house, he ran inside, quickly taking of his sandals before giving a call to show he was home. There were sounds of stomping feet, and the next moment, he yelped as a hand grabbed his hair mercilessly, pulling him into the living room. He never let go of the puppy, who gave a startled whimper at the sudden movement and tense atmosphere.

"Where the hell have you been, huh?!" the deep voice of his father was seething with quiet anger, and the boy's energy and smile vanished at once, leaving him to stand there, looking down at the puppy he gently petted.

"I'm sorry, father," he said quietly, fear rising in his chest.

"Sorry?! You skip out on your training and your house chores to play in the forest, and then come home in the middle of the night, carrying a fucking mutt, and all you can say is sorry?!"

"Deidara, we were worried about you…" his mother's quiet voice came from the other side of the room, although she didn't particularly seem to mean it, just giving a shaky smile and refusing to look at neither her son nor her husband.

"I w-wasn't going to be away for long, but… I got lost, and then f-found this puppy…"

"I don't want to listen to your excuses, brat."

"… It was t-tied to a tree, I couldn't just-"

"I said shut the fuck up!" the hand connecting to his cheek sent the thin boy falling back on his rear on the wooden floor, biting his lip in the effort not to whimper. The dog in his arms, however, didn't know the rules, whimpering and shivering.

His father glared at him with ice in his dark eyes, before looking at the puppy like it was some worthless insect. Almost the same look he used to give his son.

"God damn it, shut the fucking thing up!" he shouted, reaching down and grabbing the puppy from Deidara's arms with a sharp nap that made the small, black-furred animal whimper even more vigorously with fear.

"NO!" Deidara gasped, jumping up as his father was about to toss the creature to the floor. He managed to catch it in the air, before stepping away from his father, cradling the terrified dog to his chest.

He'd been so stupid, thinking that his father might let him get away with this. If he'd been a stronger son, perhaps his father would have liked him more. If he'd been better at fighting and training to become a great shinobi, perhaps his father would respect him as a human being. If he hadn't even been born to begin with, perhaps his parents would have been happy…

They never wanted a child, and when they did, he couldn't even manage to fight properly, like his father wanted him to. A girly boy, with too much compassion for living creatures and with a weak and freaky body.

"Oh, you already care for the bloody thing, do you? Well, that's too bad." His father moved forward and reached for the puppy again, but Deidara moved back, protecting the puppy, as he watched his father's eyes shining with insane amusement. He moved to the wall and picked up the whip he usually used for traitors of the village and the sort. The traitors of the village, other enemies, and Deidara. It seemed they all went under the same category in his father's twisted mind.

The first hit with the sharp whip stung on his skin, but he turned away, covering the creature in his arms with his body, the best he could. His resolve not to cry with pain, fury and sorrow was broken as the lashes kept coming, soon sending blood flying from open wounds. A scream escaped his lips as the whip hit him across the face, straight across his left eye, leaving it swollen and bleeding.

"You could just hand over the pup, and you'll be spared for tonight, you brat!" his father snickered evilly. Deidara felt anger rising then, turning to glare at his father with a new, and rather unsettling fury.

"Finally come to your senses?" his father smirked, but Deidara suddenly tossed the puppy gently, but firmly out of the reach of the whip, where it lay, frozen with fear. Deidara didn't let his father's confusion last, but moved quickly, fishing up clay from the bag at his hip, which he'd collected earlier that day, to make some figures with later.

He could see his father's familiar disgust and his mother's shame as the mouths on his hands, which he'd been born with, chewed the dirt and then spit it out, in shape of small birds. It was like his mind was turning blank with fury and he moved without thinking, simply on instinct. The birds landed on his parents, moving to fasten to their clothes, as they gasped with surprise and disgust.

Then he turned and ran, picking up the puppy and heading a bit away from the house. Turning back, he glared at the hated "home", where he could hear his father yelling, about to follow him. Holding up his hand in a sign he had never used before, he muttered a word which was unfamiliar to his lips.

The reaction was immediate and both unexpected and awaited. Exploding with violent force, it sent flames and black smoke curling up towards the moon. The fire reflected in the boy's wide eyes, giving them a spooky look as he fell shakily to his knees, petting his only friend over the dark fur, murmuring soft apologies and words of comfort, a small smile resting on his lips. The fact that the dog was dead, the fright and shock having been to much for it, was noticed, but ignored.

"It's ok… it's going to be ok…" and the tears that had momentarily stopped, due to his violent rage, were released again, trickling down his pale cheeks as he petted the soft fur, ever so gently…

oOoOo

Deidara gasped, shooting up into sitting position, staring numbly before him in the dark room. His hair fell limply across his shoulders, damp with cold sweat, just like his skin. He blinked out of his daze, feeling his body tremble and tears staining his face.

He took a deep breath, feeling nauseous and shaken. It had been a dream. No, a memory. A memory he had worked hard to suppress, ever since the day he had single-handedly killed his parents and the innocent puppy. Since that day, nothing had been the same, it had killed a part of his soul, and pure fear and shock had got him obsessed with the only comfort he could find; explosions.

Eventually, the shock passed, but his love for the art didn't. Pushed onto the brink of sanity, he'd spent years training and experimenting, all for the sake of forgetting his past. He'd taken more lives, felt blood on his hands, fallen deeper and deeper into insanity…

"Hey, brat…" he gasped, turning his head sharply, but noticing that it wasn't the cold voice of his father, but another, softer tone. This voice was hard too, but there was a hint of emotion mixed in that had never been heard in his father's.

"D-don't call me that…" he murmured as he felt sharp, deep red eyes linger on him, almost questioningly, even as he closed his good eye.

The other person didn't say any more, but Deidara heard the foot steps coming over the floor to his side of the room, and the creaking of the bed as the person sat down. Then a hand rested on his cheek after drying away the stray tears.

It was a small motion. The hand wasn't even warm and soft, but rather hard and inhuman, just as the person to whom it belonged to. Still, it was more than enough, and Deidara found himself comforted, leaning into the hand, with a small, broken smile and a strangled sob.

"Please don't call me that, danna…" he murmured quietly, opening his eye to glance up at his comrade, whose eyes softened slightly. Then he nodded once, shortly and briskly.

Deidara smiled and reached up, resting his own hand on the other man's. The only hand that would never hurt him. The only hand that would never pull away.

With him, whether he was sane or not was unimportant. With him, whether he had killed his family and friend was unimportant. With him, everything else was unimportant.

And that knowledge let Deidara lay down again, slowly falling asleep to the soothing coldness of Sasori's hand, softly wiping away his tears.

oOoOo

_Owari~_

_Hope you liked it. I'd appreciate a review telling me what you think ^^_

_~Wolfie_


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